Interview with Xela of LUVMUTHA.COM April 2004

This interview took place over some good beer on a Tuesday evening at my house after the Phoenix Open Mic night out in Lakewood Ohio. Xela hosts that open mic as well as several others throughout the Cleveland metropolitan area. Xela is the primo open mic host, check his site for current open mic events.

And, heh, I don't know for certain yet if Xela's gonna let me keep this up here, but for now here is a single complete song from "Cartoonopolis" "Telle Cranial Creature" - get it while the gettin' is good then go out to open mic and get one of Xela's albums! They are only 5 bucks at his shows!

How did you copyright your material?

I um - I know you want me to get technical here so lemme put away this bullshit (Xela rustles some papers around...) - I went to secretary of state and picked up some forms, actually, I downloaded the forms for 30 bucks and, basically, instead of copyrighting each song I copyrighted a body of work.

You copyrighted a body of work?

Yeah, 3 bodies of work: “CARTOONOPOLIS”, “CLUMBSY LUV”, and “LUV MUTHA”. Instead of copyrighting a song, I copyrighted a body of work, three bodies of work. Each considered a ‘body of work’ copyrighted under the title, basically I was able to ‘cheat’ and copyright the songs for a lot cheaper - all with intent to hold up in court in case anyone should decide to steal my shit! But, you know, I really don’t think I am that important…or anything that I have done yet.

Do you think anyone would ‘steal’ your work?

I don't know but it’s protected, I really don’t care. Someone could fuck with it, change the names or take the hook or whatever. I don’t care anyway I am lucky enough to be playing a song and its my duty to share.

But if someone stole your work, it’s protected by copyright…I mean, you could prove that the work is your original work

Yeah, it’s protected.

How long have you been playing?

Technically since I was 4 years old but … as a professional musician I been hustling the hustle for about 5 years. Overall I have been at it about 13 years. I just started to play in bands and at bars and at parties and in basements and bathrooms just anywhere, just trying to build the experience you know? Learning how to, you know, partake in the “peppered poppy cosh” if you will!

Partake in what?

THE PEPPERED POPPY COSH! Which would be the elaborate American Music Experience, you know?

So, what does the American Dream mean to you?

Paying my bills, that’s the American Dream to me. Paying the bills and living and taking care of people who took care of me - the security thing that’s about it.

Who took care of you when you were growing up?

My father and my mother, mostly - I came from the ‘family that stuck it out’.

I thought your mom died when you were young. My mom died abruptly and unexpectedly when I was 19 or 20 years old.

My mom passed away when I was about 23 years old - so we have been in the same boat.

This is a little bit personal and not really what I wanted to talk about…

Well, that’s my reality and that’s where the LuvMutha came from! It was a very intense experience and no easier to deal with than anything else of that sort and when she died it was an actual relief - which is almost sadder to say, you know, but its truth.

I think I know how you were feeling. My moms unexpected passing away left me in a state of schock for about a year. So, I know from personal experience that when a young man loses his mom its an intense and shocking experience. How did you relate the experience at the time to your bands music?

I was kind of in the same state you were in. I was in shock even though we had been living with it for about 6 months at that point - and I actually was in a band at the time, and we were about to go on the road and it was our first real stretch of on the road gigs. 10 gigs 9 days, we were gonna do it. And I was so hungry for it (the road experience) and I so wanted to go do it and I was gonna do it with my mom sick in the hospital. It was my godmother who stopped me she was cussing me out to stay at home.

Stay at home and do what?

Well, we didn’t know it at the time of course but it was like 2 days away from her actual passing away, that was the situation - that is the gist of that, I mean. I just had to be pulled away from my denial to face the truth, you know how that goes.

Does any of your current material grow from that experience?

All of the album LUV MUTHA is material inspired and created during and after that time.

Would you have a problem having this material transcribed?

I am not one of those guys that would have a problem with that - I do not posses the things I do, everything I do is unconditional - its an unconditional life and I am lucky enough to lead it - not much sacred other than the moment. All that matters is bringing joy and hope, you know? If there is any church or true consciousness if there is any right or any right I really have to say all dictated in the moment and how you act - its so liberating to live a life like that and suddenly there is this value to the work. An even though I am not worried about what happens to my efforts or my work, I attribute great value to them, and its value based on growth and eventuality, so if something grows beyond me then I am lucky to have it be a part of my life.

So there is a challenge to be met…

And endure it and support it as much as you do when its coming to you and music is the same - music and money don’t belong together but it the only craft I have to offer society outside of pushing a mop.

Do you plan to continue to make a living from the art that you do?

Yeah, one hundred percent.

And how do you plan to continue to do this?

It’s the college I never had and I really have to step outside of myself and look at my efforts - my obligation is to be open enough o figure out where the music belongs

You appear to be doing a good job making music a priority…

It going to remain my top priority and those around me continue to endure my infatuation with it

And how does this infatuation fit into the American Dream for you…

Being able to reciprocate the love and education of my family and friends

INTERVIEW IS ABRUPTLY INTERRUPTED BY TECHNICAL FAILURE AT THIS POINT AND WE PICK IT UP again

So, the American Dream and the politics of playing music go together how and with where in your heart?

I look at the continent of North American and myself as a Shaman and I am traveling between the many levels of things inspired by the industry. I view the industry as a large continent and I visualize myself as a roving Shaman, I have no home other than my heart and those that reside in my heart and the power I am given to live with is coming from that place. I try to receive the moment and to try to receive everyone as my relationship with the universe. Through my chant and my psychosis I don’t intentionally translate but I translate what I genuinely believe my free will inspired by others wants to communicate.

And what is it you are communicating?

I am communicating free will. And I am communicating the desire of the earth to live in its children’s heart again. My pessimism, my anger, my joy, it all comes from that - it all comes from this hungry and lost mother who has been starved by her own children and I think that is why I have this gravity to my family.

So how do you feel about the earth at this moment?

The earth is in a very different stage within the cosmos and I believe that the next truth is going to be viscous and unrelenting because our neglect is of that same disease.

Do you believe the earth is a living being?

Yeah, one hundred percent. And I believe in life on other planets because I believe a planet is a form of life.

And how do relate life on other planets to your own personal creative expression?

My personal creative expression is a result of gravity working the way it does and the path of the cosmos working the way it does and what I do is a result of it. I am a conduit and a catalyst transforming the cosmic energy into a kind of truth and I hope I am using my ego in the proper way. I think one of the reasons I have chosen a life in this community and not tried to exploit myself to selfishly because this is the community that created my hunger. I want to feed it, you know? I look for the ways I can to do that without totally losing myself because the part I do keep is that part that wants to eat sleep and fuck. Those parts of me I do keep want to be held, wants to be heard, and wants to listen and wants to hold. Those are my human facilities. If there is anything I have been given it’s the ability to inspire and communicate my inspiration, and I work every day to keep up with that.

Where does that inspiration come from?

I love women, I love what women do to me, and I love what they let me do to them and just in every sense of that compassion and relation I live spiritually and sexually and artistically and the end result is the painting the music and the politics. I have had to put myself out there and I have had to learn to know how to step back. The inspiration I have is all the lessons I have learned, the knowing how to listen, and the living in chaos and making something of it.

How to you bring that experience and inspiration to your work with the Open Mic Underground here in Cleveland?

I have really been trying to establish a simple relationship with this effort and it’s been hard. I have had to quickly learn how to interpret people’s intrigue. I have had to learn how to be more receptive to the desires they have and to facilitate the desire with dignity. This could mean that someone wants to hear a cover (song) or that someone wants to hear an original tune. It could be a person interpreting my life style as something they want, or a person might be interpreting my lifestyle as something they are capable of. And between those two types of people I do allot of work to communicate through - it’s my work relationship communicating with people.

How do you communicate your desires to this community?

I tell everyone I meet that I want them to do what the fuck they want and I want to see it. I want to see them emotionally naked. I want to see them armored invisibly with heart and creativity. That’s the truth and the vulnerability that has made me scared and it’s powerful to feel…people don’t always get it right away. I have had people come up to me during open Mic and say like “why don’t you get on stage and show them how to do it man...your so much better than all these people”. And the only thing I really have to say to that is ‘go home’ - this is not about ‘me’, its about ‘we’ and that is what I care about and that is what I try to communicate as an Open Mic host.

THE INTERVIEW IS AGAIN INTERRUPTED DUE TO TECHNICAL FAILURE

Do you find the community responds positively to open Mic and why?

It’s equally positive and negative

Why do we get the consistent contingency of hard core artistic types and where is everybody else?

We are totally talking about Cleveland?

Oh yeah, Cleveland

This is so Cleveland. Yes, well - Cleveland has no heart anymore. Its been exploited and sold out so many times over…check it out, I am not talking about us or them I am talking about Cleveland, like where the money is and where the money is going, ok. Now the coffee shops and the bars, the places that give me work, those are the real people. Those are the people who are taking a fucking chance every time they put me out there and every time they give me a few bucks to do what I do - that’s the true heart of Cleveland.

You are the reining king of Open Mic in Cleveland, how did you get up to speed?

I didn’t learn it all so quickly - I was really handed the crown only recently, it was passed to me from Charlie Mosbrook. He was running the open mics that I went to as a teenager. And the school that he was offering to me - well, Charlie might have become jaded over time, the ‘mainstream’ neglected Charlie for so long - but he fought and he continued to be inspired and to create. And he has worked so many facilities and I had been watching him and feeling him agreeing with him and disagreeing with him, developing a friendship. And when I found myself hustling an Open Mic... I only worked one Open Mic for four or five years.

What year was that?

Like 1997 or 1998

Ok, well here it is 2004 and you are running five Open Mic events

Yeah, and the heart of Cleveland is pounding sincerely in the chests of inspired people. The hearts that are inspired to write a song and make something happen in Cleveland. I get often get these surges of inspiration and they pass over me like water of rock in a river - I choose to feel it and usher in the flow - and again there is this heartbeat and its heart to define. If we are talking about the American dream and this heart that we have, well golly that’s a contradiction. The power we are given in a moment, the truth that we hope to have a chance to express with inspiration, that’s the heart, it’s of the moment and it is a light in a very dark place. Cleveland is of the earth and it’s been conquered for a very long time so our children have a real hard time interpreting her. But she is still there (here) and lives in ghosts - her ghosts are ancients - her ghosts are shamanistic and they maybe even cursed this land and the wrong doers who overcame them. And so our children are a result of that curse. There is more manic depression and suicide in Cleveland than any other city - I had friends who this year have died by their own hand.

I have had friends who have died by their own hands and also naturally.. So disregarding death in general..

I am just saying, that’s how heavy the impression of our commercial society is upon our minds and our hearts. Its going to be hard for many people to overcome that because our children are getting pumped full of medications - we are pumped full of ‘get a bigger dick’ and ‘get a slicker body’ those are the distractions from a pure mind.

So what do you suggest as an alternative to bigger dicks and more medications?

Realize that when life is hard it only gets harder and so should your dick! (Laughter) You got do what you can with what you got, just because there are so many people with so much more does not mean you need or deserve more it just means you are…and need to work with what you got, that is a lesson I have learned out of life … and you know, as soon as I started losing site …. just by going crazy and opening my eyes wider and nuttier I could see more. Anyway, who cares about my dick, I don’t want anyone to know or care if its big or small but I do want them to know I have the chutzpa to live a life as a man and as a sexual being, as an individual .. just because I don’t have the Lexus and the blond hared tan bitch from Beachwood Mall. That’s shit that wouldn’t mean jack about me - my life is a story that will be told to the people who care and that’s all that matters. And if they care then my heart will be there for them and that’s all that it is, you know? I can’t compare myself to this system because it so much bigger and more organized than I will ever be. I am chaos I am a result and I will continue to be a result of every moment of my life and I won’t expect to be anything more than that, and to me that is the naked truth. That’s what I try to do with my music - I try to be naked - I try to be just that sound, just that moment. That is why I love improvisation that is why I like helping others improve that is why I like helping others at least recognize a sound in a song to play to, that is what made music in me. There is nothing else I can project and there is nothing else I could say to them or for them - but if they are in the same realm of inspiration I am in then we are gonna have a party! And that is just it, you know, look for that party in your community, look for that truth locally - don’t think about tomorrow and better days and better lays think about now and the million ways in the moment you could truly prosper. And that is where my music comes from and that is what I communicate to my people through my open Mic community. Hey man you may write a song just to write a fucking song, you know? And it’s just a song, man, and hopefully a song you might share with somebody. Like, it doesn’t need to be the market and it doesn’t need to be the millions. And the only reason I have that perspective now is that I have spent ten years writing songs and composing and say out of the eighty or ninety I have written I am only exploiting maybe thirty of em’. And I had to spend time listening to my shit and saying to myself ‘wow, that sucks and that’s ok and I really like the way this feels here’. I am very analytical and this whole analysis has helped me interpret moments so now its helping me interpret a decade’s worth of work. And the inspiration is like coming from ‘wow, I really got this much BS to fuckin’ hustle’ that doesn’t sound that bad! That’s the shit that has me taking out credit card loans and manufacturing a bunch of disks and saying to myself “Know what, I am going to spend it just because I feel good enough about it”

FURTHER INTERRUPTIONS DUE TO TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

(The computer wasn’t setup correctly for the lengthy recording session - oops!)

How do you relate the current technologies to what you are trying to do spiritually?

Well, it’s a contradiction - I am not a big fan of the way that we create electricity and there are alternative methods of electrical generation that could generate freedom. I think our electricity is a result of slavery its an exploitation of an imbalance in the world it comes from people who are trying to control nature instead of living unconditionally. I look at computers as slaves and think AI will nip us someday.

By that do you mean we are going to get our asses bitten?

Well, I think we are creating Frankenstein. The technology is accelerated and we are not really trying to understand these things. We are not trying to understand the origins we are just trying to understand how we can make money from them and that is the premise of the American Dream. It is the premise of the deception and the ‘false electric’ what I like to call.

Its like the total capitalization of profit margin

And the fact of the matter is when you create enough electricity to generate some semblance of AI (Artificial Intelligence) you know, whether its just a cursor or a translation of sound or manipulated sound um then your creating a life, electricity is a form of life. The human energy is all electrical, it’s a network of nerve endings concealed by water.

Do you think we are all connected to one another?

One hundred percent. The concept of eternal life is truly a manipulation of the knowledge of eternal light. There are serious issues with our government and how it’s oriented with spiritual concepts. The separation of church and state only gave the government a little bit more power to have an opinion about god and then take it away from any church and any spiritual effort and instead turn it into a fear factor and a managerial tool. This is not the way electricity needs to be expressed. Its sort of like the titan Prometheus giving us fire back in the day, when he gave fire to man the other gods found out and they punished him for all eternity. I feel that man has kind of done that to himself. We are only exploiting one element of this light, this generation of energy, and we are using it to trap the willpower of the people. I endure technology and I love technology, and at one point I was very against it. But now I understand it is a tool and it’s a managed tool so I kind of feel like a Thomas Jefferson or an Abe Lincoln, you know, who has a slave and does not always agree with it but that is just the way the world works.

Do you think technology could save the human race?

I would like to see us with that capability but we are looking to everything else and why not technology? It’s a big cookie jar of bullshit and I am just yanking what I can out of it - I am just as much of a parasite as this system is. [Editors note: Alex trails off here into a different direction…..] I am grateful to those who offer me the kindness of compassion and truth and understanding and it is my obligation to eventually reciprocate if I cannot immediately. I just love and that’s all and love doesn’t always work out in the world so what I had to learn how to do was compromise. And not to compromise because I am weaker, but because I am capable of understanding. And I hope I will continue to understand and if the day comes when I choose to fail, then I hope there is a reason. The more time I take to understand things then the more in life is available, the more life is willing to compromise for you. It’s kind of like the bend or break theory, you know? And I am a bender.

A bender of space and time?

Yeah, and a bender even socially - I used to hang out with the fuckin’ roughneck bullies that used to beat me up everyday because they protected me. And its ok you know after a while that just came naturally, being a clown, being somebody who just did not care what anybody else thought of me. And that’s kind of how I deal with the world, I have grown into life like that - I love hanging out with people who know how to bust my balls, because it makes me stronger. I love hanging out with people who now when to say…[editors note: Alex trails off a bit here again…..] you know, I think that’s probably the only reason I got so many people giving me love right now, in my work, you know. Its cause I have spent most of my life getting beat up! Its like the universe is like “Damn, you’re a sucker! Well, were gonna make it a little bit easier on you cause your such a nice guy!”

And it seems like you have managed to make you ego work for the community

And that’s key, in Buddhism they think of that as the last stage of the three virtues. The first is Buddha the stage of inspiration, and Dharma is the journey, and the result is Tsongo [or something however it is spelled or pronounced - we aren’t sure - look into it!]. The idea behind the words is that all the lessons you have learned you can help teach other people with. And all the times you have had your ass kicked translate into prosperity and hope it’s the vulnerability that is encouraged at least it is in my book. And I think that vulnerability is mistaken by our society for something else.

It appears you have capitalized on the element of vulnerability…

I totally have you know, and it’s been a question in my heart - you know, getting paid to have others play on the microphone. I never really new how to perceive the issue or I never understood if there was a negative effect before it just started paying my bills. And then eventually I am like, well, whatever - and you know then there is that selfishness in that I am trying to take control of a situation because I really don’t have control of it. And all I really have to say is this: I did open mics for years before I ever really ran one, and how many of those dudes got paid because I played 15 minutes of good music? Or 15 minutes of crappy music - wherever that belonged. You know all I am is being the lunch lady, the recess monitor, and the hall monitor.

At this point our interview is terminated - the technology just goes down - and we have finished the beer.